Friday, August 28, 2009

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 1: The Help Meet
Chapter 2: Thanksgiving Produces Joy

Let me ask a question...How does your day go when you are grouchy..complaining about every little thing?
How does your day go when you are thankful, happy and counting your blessings?

For me, at least, if I'm grouching and complaining, I'm miserable and so is everyone around me. I'm not happy and cheerful and neither is anyone in my vicinity. But if I'm happy and counting my blessings...even when I'm in a rotten countenance begins to change. I begin to stop majoring on the minors and those around me are in a much better mood.

When we find ourselves complaining because DH hasn't' pucked up his dirty clothes, or his wet towel didn't make it in the hamper; when we complain that he didn't clean the sink out after he shaved again or that he tromped mud on our clean kitchen floor...what kind of reaction do we, as wives, think we are going to get?

Our man is going to immediately go into defense mode and protect himself. He is going to hear, "Nag, nag, nag". He is going to shut down or lash out and honestly, none of that sounds very enjoyable to me.

Ladies, we have to change our frame of mind. We are the help meet and we set the tones for our homes.

Please, let's be it really such a big deal to pick up our man's wet towels or to clean the whiskers out of the sink? How much time does it truly take?

A better question might be, would the nagging and whining be worth the irritated, depressive spirit that would enter our home? No. It's not worth it.

I can understand where some women might worry that their hubby would take advantage and become a total slob, expecting her to pick up and go behind him all of the time. I have found, though, that usually, in just a short amount of time, DH realizes that he's making a mess over what I've already cleaned and that he soon begins to make sure to pick up after himself to eliminate extra work on me. All because I didn't complain or point out his 'messes'.

Mrs. Pearl also points out in this chapter that it's important to be our man's playmate. I couldn't agree more.

My sweet man is notorious for cutting grass or weed eating and bringing all that loose grass and weeds in on his shoes and clothes. Of course, that means I can keep up with him by the trail of grass he leaves behind.

I have two choices: I could get angry and complain and tell him that it would be great if he'd just dust off before he came in. That would only succeed in making him feel like my child instead of my husband, which would make him angry which I would pick up on. Then my already bad attitude would just get worse.

Doesn't sound like a good option to me. Or..

I could get my broom and begin sweeping up the mess and as DH passes by, give him a gentle whack on the behind with my broom. (This is actually the choice I do make)

As he feels the whack, DH sill stop, turn and give me a most wicked grin to which I will return a very sweet 'innocent', "What's the matter?" look.

He turns and as I raise the broom to whack him again, he grabs it and the match is on!!!!! Of course, he's ten times stronger than me and it doesn't take him long to take the broom from em and pull me into his arms.

The point is, no arguments, no bad moods or attitudes and the day rolls merrily along just because I made the choice to be thankful for a man who works hard to keep our yard looking nice.

Joy was produced from thanksgiving.

Mrs. Pearl asks us to do this exercise this week: "...make a written list of ways that you can start showing thankfulness; then start living your list and show a thankful life."

Next week: The Gift of Wisdom


Andrea said...

If I am overwhelmed I simply ask my hubby to help and he usually does and the same with him if he is working on something. We can't read each others minds and I have to remember that..and not just expect him to know what I need.

Toknowhim said...


The question that you left on my blog has been answered. I turned the job of tackling these tough questions over to my friend Christina (who I believe has been given the gift of teaching)..

The answer is short, but I hope encouraging...

Thanks, Kim

Kris said...

Wow. This hit me so a slap in the face. Is there going to be more and will it be this in-depth? I can't afford the book but would love to follow along. Please tell me that will be possible.

mom-2-4 said...

I have this book and I actually just starting re-reading it again. So, I'm in with this study! Hey, and with the whole grass-cutting, weed-eating thing- we can just be happy that our husband's do the work in the first place, I'm sure there are some husband's that don't do yard work and make their wives do it. I always try to remember that there is always something to be thankful for in everything!