Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Try It Tuesday

I want to begin something new here on Tuesdays....something I'm going to dub "Try It Tuesdays".

Each Tuesday is going to bring a new challenge for the next week.

I'd love it if you'd join in and share with me how the week went and if you were able to stick with the challenge.

Since being a Biblical wife is such an important part of my life, I'd like to start there.

It's always been very important to me to make DH's coming home from work in the evening a 'want to' experience.

My husband, and I'm sure most men, have a lot of stress on them that we can't even begin to realize...especially if we are stay-at-home moms.

DH's income is the only income we have. In our shaky economy right now, the threat of losing your job is ever-looming over our husband's shoulders. He knows that if he loses his job, life, as his family knows it, will change dramatically. He doesn't want that.

So he puts up with the stress and the unrealistic demands that are put on him each day....and even though DH shares his day with me....I don't have a clue, and I'm willing to bet you don't either.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for 17 years now and I'd like to think I've learned a little bit over that time.

With my DH, I've always known approximately what time he would be home. We've been through him working day shift, 2nd shift and working his own business.

Day shift means that he'll be getting home around 4:30 in the evening. 2nd shift means that he'll be leaving around 2 in the afternoon and even when he was working for himself, barring an emergency, I knew he'd be home by 6 in the evening.

Since we're living day shift right now, let me start there:

Even though DH thinks I'm beautiful no matter what, I try to have myself "put together" by about 3 pm. I'll have my hair combed and nice looking, at least the bare minimum of makeup on and add squirt of perfume ...(even though his smeller has been on the fritz for over 20 years...it makes me feel pretty..)

I go through the house, making sure that the living room is picked up and his paper is laying by his chair. DH loves to read his paper when he gets home, so I make sure he's not having to hunt it down, which would only frustrate my already tired man.

By 4 o'clock, I have supper started. I want to make sure that supper is almost ready to eat when he gets home.

At 4:30, I'm watching out the kitchen window for him to pull in the driveway. When I see that little Sidekick pull in, I fix DH a glass of something cold to drink and set it on the kitchen island.

When he walks in the door, a smile, hug and kiss are waiting on him. A quick check on supper and I follow him in the bedroom where he's literally peeling off the weight of his day. The first question out of my mouth is, "How was your day?" As he begins sharing his day, I'm totally quiet. No matter if the frig has given up the ghost, or DS has a knot on his head or DD is sick or the clothesline broke (with all of my whites hanging on them!) I don't let him hear it. It's his time to unwind and vent or whatever he needs to do to release his day. Other than a "Hi Dad", the kids are to leave Dad alone for 30 minutes.

While it's true I have teenagers now, it hasn't always been that way....obviously..

Those of you with Tiny Tots are going, "Mm hmm, keep them quiet for 30 minutes..you betcha."..but it can be done.

I started early on with my two sharing that Daddy is so awesome and he works so hard taking care of us that giving him 30 minutes each evening when he gets home from work for "Daddy Time" was our way of saying thank you. They always got to run to Daddy and give him a hug and check his lunch box...because Daddy always got 'full' before he could eat that snack cake.......:o) then I would set a timer for 30 minutes. Each child would go to his or her room and they would play quietly or read or color or whatever...they just had to be quiet and they couldn't bother Daddy. When the timer dinged, Dad and the kids knew that it was time to come together and share, laugh, tickle whatever.

You would be amazed at the change in your man when he gets that 30 minute sabbatical each evening.

By the time his sabbatical is over, supper is ready to eat and the table is full of laughter and conversation and DH's eyebrows aren't furrowed and his shoulders sagging...he is fully able to enjoy his family.

So...here is your challenge: For the next week make sure that:

1) You are looking fresh and beautiful when DH gets home. Remember, he already thinks you are beautiful but if you feel pretty..it shows.

2) Supper is cooking and a cold drink, or a cup of coffee, or whatever your DH likes to drink is waiting on him when he walks in the door.

3) After hugs and kisses, send the kiddos off for their 30 minutes of quiet play and allow hubby his 30 minute sabbatical...remember, no complaining or nagging or handing him the days problems. Most things can wait 30 minutes (they've waited all day haven't they??)

4) It may help you to write down the change you see. I'd love to know if this makes a difference in your marriage and in your family.

As a side note---

If your DH is working 2nd shift, make sure that you get up before him and pretty yourself up. When my DH worked 2nd shift, our main meal was lunch, so for that 30 minutes before lunch, the kiddos took their 30 minutes of quiet time and Dad got his sabbatical then. (By the time he got home at midnight all was quiet anyway)..then we could come together at mealtime and enjoy each other's company. Ask him is there anything you can do that afternoon to help him and give out an abundance of hugs and kisses before he heads out the door--

Can't wait to check back in with your results next Tuesday!!



momstheword said...

Great post, Deb. I don't think we can hear it enough. I remember my mom always used to fix herself up before my dad came home.

My kids and I used to greet hubby at the door when possible (even with a diaper slung over my shoulder, lol!). Now that they're older it's a bit different and they don't rush like they used to. But we're still glad to see him!

Chelsey said...

This is awesome stuff Deb. It's so funny - we do almost the exact same thing in our home. We have a "30" minute rule in our home as well and I have the cold glass of water fixed for my hubby as well! :)

I have seen such a difference in my sweet man since implementing these things... it is definitely worth it!

MOMSWEB said...

Amen, amen, and AMEN! I do my best each and every day. A king wants to come home to his castle (smile).