Monday, February 23, 2009

Motherhood & At the Well

Today's discussion over At the Well, is titled 'That Where I Am You May Be Also'.

At the Well Blog Button

The discussion concerns motherhood and how important it is that true motherhood always points to Jesus.

Being a mom is one of the greatest blessings in my life.

I want to participate in the Q&A, but in order to do that I will need to make this a two-parter. I have to begin at the beginning in order to answer the Well questions.
Here is part one..part two will follow later today or tomorrow...

As a very young teenage girl, I suffered from a lot of 'female' problems that resulted in some tests which caused my doctor to warn me that when the day came for me to have a baby, it would be a difficult..if not impossible..accomplishment.

He was right.

DH and I started trying for a baby about a year or so after we married. As the months went by and I still wasn't pregnant, my doctor's words came back to me.

Another couple of years of trying to get pregnant..unsuccessfully.. found us sitting in my doctor's office, going over the possibility of fertility treatments.

Doc warned me that even with treatments, my ability to get pregnant was still a long shot. Again, he was right.

We went through using that basal thermometer daily, sex on demand..because when you are at your prime moment of ovulation, you have to jump at the chance..fertility drugs..then doubling the drugs..then tripling the drugs..then saying enough is enough.

6 years later, we still weren't pregnant and we were exhausted. Physically exhausted..not so much, but the emotional exhaustion was enormous!! The stress and strain on our marriage had grown to the point that we weren't sure bringing a baby into it was wise.

With tear-filled eyes, I sat in Doc's office and told him we were done. No more trying. Our marriage, and we ourselves, couldn't take the strain of trying to have a baby any longer.

He gave me some information on adoption and after much discussion between DH and myself we set that in motion. There were a lot of children out there who needed a home and that was something we could provide.

Several weeks after filling out more paperwork than I'd ever seen in my life, I noticed that I was so tired and I was sore..more specifically in my breast area which was not common for me at all. I hadn't paid much attention to the fact that it had been a couple of months since I'd had a period simply because missing 2 or 3 months in a row was normal for me. A good friend of mine insisted I buy a pregnancy test, but I refused. If all of those fertility drugs hadn't helped me get pregnant, I'm sure I wasn't pregnant now. Besides..over the years I'd spent way too much money on pregnancy tests that made me cry because all I ever got was a negative result.

A week later though, I was still exhausted and my breasts were really hurting...if I wasn't pregnant, then something was most certainly wrong.

I made a trip to Wal Mart, purchased yet another at home pregnancy test.

The next morning, I waited till DH left for work before taking the test. He had to leave before I did and since I hadn't told him I bought the test (why put him through that?) I just thought it would be easier to cry alone then gather myself up and head off to work.

I peed on the little stick and then stared at it. Negative. Just what I come the tears, the disappointment, the anger, the screaming, the sliding down the wall..and then the outright sobbing. Finally, I gathered myself up off the floor and reached for the little stick to throw it in the trash. One last look at it and I noticed a very faint pink stripe. That stripe, although faint, made a plus sign which would, it wasn't possible. Besides, the negative sign was dark pink and the other line was so faint....

I dug the box out of the trash and called the 1-800 number on the back. The lady on the other end of the line was so sweet and told me that if I saw any pink at all, it was very likely I was pregnant and that I should go to my doctor as soon as possible.

Hanging up with her, I dialed Doc's office right away. His nurse encouraged me to run by for a test..just to see.

I called DH who agreed to meet me at Doc's office.

Within an hour, we were at Doc's office and I was peeing for them. One blue dot..not pregnant. Two blue dots pregnant. As we watched the nurse, who by now we had become good friends with, we tried to read the expression on her face, but it was expression-less and I knew she was trying to figure out the best way to let me know that I still wasn't pregnant.

I wasn't prepared for what came next....

Me: "Negative again huh?" I might as well help the poor thing out in trying to share the bad news.

Nurse: "'re pregnant!!"

Me: "It's not possible. It cannot be." This is a cruel joke..but you wouldn't do that to me would you??....

Turning towards me, she showed me the test...two blue dots...both very dark in color.

It was true....I was pregnant....

I looked at DH and we both burst into tears. Doc came out of an exam room about that time and Nurse filled him in quickly on what had happened. 6½ years of trying...and finally giving up..I was pregnant.

I didn't have a relationship with Jesus at this time, but I knew that He'd performed a miracle..and I was very grateful.....I was going to be a Mom.....

1 comment:

Laurie Ann said...

This looks like my story, only mine didn't have the ending yours seems to have but I cannot wait to read the rest! I'm so glad you're a mom! My heart is always warmed when IF is defeated and God reigns victorious. He granted me the joy of parenting my bonus daughter and being the happy grandmother of 2 precious grandsons and an aunt, cousin and friend to so many little blessings in my life, though.