Monday, February 16, 2009

Love or Friendship...Maybe Both?

Today I joined up with At the Well and wanted to share it with you.

The questions for today were on the subject of family love. The Scripture was Titus 2:4, "These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children." NLT

Amy researched this and found that the type of love mentioned here means to love in the sense of 'being friends with..'

Then she posed these questions:

What is your definition of friendship?

My definition of friendship is someone who will be there for me through the good and bad, encouraging me when I'm down or when I'm doubting myself. Someone who knows me well enough to pick up that something is going on when I'm trying to keep it to myself. Someone who knows me inside and out, faults and all, and chooses to love me anyway. Someone I can laugh with, cry with, have fun with and do absolutely nothing with....and it's okay.

Did you follow the belief that we should not be friends with our children?

No. My parents were not 'friends' with me. They were parents and while I love them dearly, it's harder now as an adult to just hang out with them. I decided back in my teenage years that I would be a parent first and then a friend.

Has that changed?

Having 2 teenagers in our home now, 16 & 18, I see how incredibly important that is. Our children know that Mom and Dad like to have fun and act crazy. We (I) like my music loud and my car fast..which can tend to get me in trouble. They also know that Mom and Dad are first and foremost...Mom and Dad. While we love them and their friends and we love hanging out with them in their world, we ARE their parents and (with God) we set the rules and the plans and the expectations. Any falling by the wayside will be dealt with swiftly.

In what ways can we befriend our husbands and children?

If I follow my definition of friendship, then I'll love unconditionally, encourage, listen, pray for, cry with, laugh with, spend time with and do nothing at all with the 3 people who mean the most in my life. However, the only possible way I can be friends with my DH and children, is to have a real relationship with my Heavenly Father. Through him, I can know what true love and true friendship is. "You are My friends if you obey Me." John 15:14, NLT

What can we do to teach those skills to someone else?

I'm a firm believer in teaching by example. In being a friend to those I meet. In loving them and making a positive difference for Christ in their lives. In loving them unconditionally, because that's how Jesus loves me. Not accepting their sin, but loving them..being their friend in spite of it.

You can check out today's post over At the Well..

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Laurie Ann said...

Great post! Love is friendship, truly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts today here At the Well.

LAURIE said...

Thank you for sharing with us over AT THE WELL. Loved what you had to say about showing your kids you are fun. I think there is a boundary between being a parent who disciplines and a parent who shows love, strength and support not only in words but actions. Now that my kids are older, I am thankful that we are friends and enjoy spending time together.

Rebecca said...

"However, the only possible way I can be friends with my DH and children, is to have a real relationship with my Heavenly Father. Through him, I can know what true love and true friendship is."

Amen! Thanks for sharing.

Amy Bayliss said...

You are a wise lady! You made so many good points. I love that you are friends to your teenage children. I especially love that you credit God for being able to do it.


Patty Wysong said...

Wow. You really nailed this on the head. I loved your thoughts on this!