We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.
I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.
Part 1: The Help Meet
Chapter 11: The Nature of Man and Woman (part 2)
Last week, we went over the very different nature of men and women. This week we are going to define if we are a Jezebel or a Ruth. Interesting, hmmmm???
What do you think of when the name Jezebel is mentioned? I know what I think of....
Years ago as a little girl, if I overheard one of my grandmothers say, "Oh that ________ is just a Jezebel", I knew that ________ was not a very good person. Even as a little girl, not knowing the story of Jezebel, I could tell by their tone of voice that Jezebel was not someone I wanted to be like.
Going back to the Biblical Jezebel of 1 Kings, we realize that she had taken on the role of leader in her relationship with Ahab. Ahab was a weak man and instead of Jezebel being a Biblical wife and meeting the needs of a quiet man, she stepped into the leadership position and decided to "lead" him into becoming a man's man.
What she didn't know, or care to know, was that by becoming the leader, she made her man feel even more inadequate. She was not encouraging him at all to be the man of God he was designed to be.
Now, what do you think of when you hear the name Ruth?
I think of someone who is humble, dedicated, faithful and loyal.
How about Esther?
I think of someone who was submissive to her husband, dedicated to her Lord and knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God's way was the best way and that the only way to handle a situation was with prayer and fasting.
Then there is the Virtuous Woman. I used to call her Superwoman. You know her...the one that lives at Proverbs 31. Her husband can trust her, she greatly enriches his life and she does him good and not harm. (v. 11-12, NLT)
Her husband trusts her to trust him. He knows his secrets are safe with her and she'll never turn those things shared in private around to get her own way or to belittle him. He shares his dreams with her, no matter how impossible they might seem, and she will encourge him and cheer him on.
One thing I have never noticed in all my years of reading Proverbs 31....not once is her ministry mentioned. Not once is her prayer life mentioned. Not once is what she is doing for the Lord mentioned. Now we know how incredibley important these things are. God has made the importance of a relationship with Him and obedience to Him very clear. Understand that I am NOT taking any importance away from our relationship with God, however, remember we are discussing being a help meet to our husbands---our God-given calling on our lives.
Our Virtuous woman is busy making sure her husband is happy, her children and her household is taken care of. She makes sure the finances are in order and she's staying within their budget. She works beside her husband. She provides good sex and fun company. She makes sure things are taken care of so he can relax and enjoy the time away from his job. She puts him above herself. (page 115)
A woman who complains or tries to assert her authority over her husband dishonors him. There is a time, place and way to acknowledge certain things that will enable us to appeal to our husbands without challenging his authority. (Mrs. Pearl covers this later in the book).
We want our husbands to love and cherish us. We want him to look at us, laugh with us and have fun with us like we did when we were dating and in the early years of marriage. We want him to be relaxed and happy and a joy to be around when he's at home. If those are the things we want, then wouldn't you agree that it begins with us?
Mrs. Pearl asks these questions:
1) Is your desire toward your husband?
2) Dor you live to please him or do you expect him to live up to your convictions and whims?
3) Do you spend you days in angry frustrations over his unwillingness to change to your specifications?
4) When people think of your family, do they see your husband as the principal player or do they think of you as the main character?
The first command that God gave woman is found in Genesis 3:16b:
"And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."
Next week: By Divine Appointment