Friday, October 9, 2009

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 1: The Help Meet

Chapter 9: Finding Your Life in His

Let me begin with this: please keep in mind that this entire study is focused on us, as wives, to be the help meet to our husbands that God has designed and called us to be. If we do this study with a carnal, worldly mindset; we are going to fail miserably. The media, tv, magazines, books, etc., have all told us that we are powerful, that we have as much control over things as a man, we are on the same level as the men..that contradicts the Bible from every direction.

This is a tough study in that you may decide to put on the brakes and yell, "Whoa!! Hold up there!!! You are making it sound like I'm to just smile and wait hand and foot on this man of mine and do whatever he says all of the time....". I know this feeling because I've struggled with it myself. I realize though, that the One I want to please is God Himself, not me myself. Doing things God's way will cause me to swallow my pride and say, "Yes, God. Your will. Your way."
In this chapter, Mrs. Pearl reminds us that God created Adam first. He gave him commands and told Adam what He wanted him to do. Then Eve was created to assist Adam, to help him out. Not vice versa.

She shares the letter from a woman whose husband had went to school and got his degree to be a CPA. He did that for 15 years, but after much reading and research, he shared that he would like to own and operate a dairy farm. Now, the wife states that she is confident her husband can make this successful, but she didn't sign up to be the wife of a dairy farmer and she finds herself resenting her husband.

You know, I can understand her.....shock. I mean from a CPA to a dairy farmer, that's about as 180ยบ as it comes in my book, but it sounds as if he didn't jump head first in this. He did his research and shared his findings with her.

I understand her apprehension, but her desire to be a help meet to her husband must override that fear.

When my husband told me that we were being called to be missionaries in a state almost 1500 miles away from my family...all I'd ever initial reaction was anything but that of a help meet. It was a resounding, "NO!" Quick conviction set in though and within a couple of weeks, I still wasn't happy, but I knew that DH had prayed and sought God and quite frankly God wasn't asking for my opinion on anything. He was speaking to my DH and that was all that mattered because my role was help meet.

Honestly, it took about 3 months after our arriving in Colorado for me to accept the changes DH had asked of me, but in the process of it all, God grew me and humbled me and I was able to not only see, but experience the blessings of faithfulness.

It was about that time I picked up a phrase and now I find myself quoting it to everybody all the time, "You have a choice to make." Mrs. Pearl acknowledges this as well on page 97. No matter what situation you find yourself in, you have a choice to make.

Hopefully by this time, you've decided what kind of man you are married to. (see last week's post) Now ask God to give you the supernatural wisdom to understand that man and be the help meet to him that you are called to be. Support his dreams. Dream them with him. Learn why it's so important to him and see what you can do to help him make them happen.

The result will be a husband who stands in awe of this incredible woman he calls his wife. Why? Because she isn't whining and complaining, she is loving and supporting him and that is incredibly sexy to your man and is going to cause him to want you more and to want to please you more.

Now that sounds like a huge win-win situation to me!!

Mrs. Pearl encourages us to do two things this week. First she asks us to make a new habit. She asks us to make habits that will cause us to adapt to our husbands needs. Second, she asks us to establish one time each day that we will specifically be reminded to ask God for wisdom. It could be when we wash dishes, make the bed, sweep the floor, what ever will trigger us to stop and pray for wisdom in accepting and loving the man He's given us.

Next week: Reactions Define You


Collette@Jesuslovesmums said...

Wonderful as usual Deb!! Such sound advice! I am so trying and praying to be a good helpmeet to Colin. It is hard but it is something which God blesses. It brings a peace around our family to have someone lead us. At the moment I am trying to build my hubby up as he needs to be a strong Godly leader to my family.
Love Collette xxx

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

Stopping by for the blog party!

Camille said...

I LOVE this really has been a blessing to me!

Just popping over for another quick visit from the blog party...with a little request! If you have a moment, would you mind stopping by at Michelle's blog (She Looketh Well) to encourage her for doing this blog party? Only if you have time! OH...and please don't tell her I sent you!