We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.
I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.
Part 1: The Help Meet
Chapter 10: Reactions Define You
It's often been said that the real you will show up under pressure. Being a wife will reveal that quickly. The person you are reflects how you were brought up, the situation you lived in and your own personality.
Women are notorious for 'putting on a face'. In other words, what people apart from our family sees is not the real us. It's who we want people to perceive us to be. Behind closed doors though, we feel safe and we relax thinking that our family will love us unconditionally, no matter how we act...and that may be true. Ask yourself though, why do we try so hard to impress others when the ones that truly matter to us live with us. Shouldn't their happiness be at the top of the list? Shouldn't they be the ones who benefit from our best?
Many years ago I was reading an article on the best way to handle ourselves in any situation. The writer stated that it was far better to act than to react. I agree.
Mrs. Pearl points out that the attitude that comes out of our mouth began in our thoughts. There are many Scriptures that speak about our thoughts:
"We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ."
2 Corinthians 10:5, NLT
"For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander."
"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
Romans 12:2, NLT
What comes out of our mouth will never change until we change what's in our thoughts.
Hubby is late from work. The kids are cranky, supper is getting colder and colder and you're getting hotter and hotter. Finally he makes it home....an hour late!!!!!!
You have two choices to make. You can attack him as soon as he comes in reminding him that you've been couped up with the kids all day and your just as tired as he is. You can remind him that there is such a thing as a telephone and a call would have been nice. You can jump up on your high horse and tell him that you and the kids ate a hot meal and if he wants his hot, he better know how to use the microwave.
Now that sounds extreme, but I personally know women who would take this road.
Or......when you realize hubby is late, you can begin to pray for him asking God to keep him safe. You can sit the children down to a movie or sit them at the table with color books and crayons and interact with them on a calmer scale while you do everything in your power to keep supper warm. You can go ahead and let the little guys eat and when hubby finally makes it through the door you can greet him with a genuine smile and hug telling him how glad you are he's home safely. You can then sit down with him and eat that lukewarm, dried out meal while he tells you about his day and how he was nearly ready to come home when a huge emergency happened.
If you make choice number one, you reacted. Choice number two, you acted. It was just a matter of having a different thought process.
Instead of being angry, spend that time thanking God for a husband who has a job and who is dedicated to seeing that job done correctly. What an awesome role model for your children and what a wonderful way to let those children know that Dad is just super!!
Our challenge for this week is to reflect over everything we have studied so far and make a list or add to the one we already have, ways that will free our man to who God created him to be.
If you have the book, I recommend doing the Wisdom Test on page 103
Next week: The Nature of Man and Woman