Thursday, January 22, 2009

How About a Little Respect!

Lesson 5 in the Loving Your Husband study I'm doing, deals with respecting your husband. I have to be honest here...I do respect DH, but not all of the time. If I'm honest (and I'm always honest with you) I always respect him if he does what I want, but when he makes a decision that I don't agree with or isn't what I wanted to do or hear, well..then..he doesn't get respect.

Ephesians 5:33 says, " So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." NLT

Men give respect. To their friends, their co-workers...just about anyone they deal with. It's easy for them. It's a "man thing" (I'm puffing up my shoulders trying to look big here...)

Women love. We just love to nurture and comfort and coddle. It's easy for us to love.

It's harder for men to show love. Well...most men... (my guy has no problem in that area)..but as a general rule, it's harder for a man to show love. On the other hand, it's harder for a woman to give respect.

Come on ladies....I'll be honest with you many times have you thought to yourself, "Well..look at her! Doesn't she think she's something!" or "Who does she think she is??" I've done that more than I'd like to admit. We hold grudges and judge and, well, can be downright mean sometimes.

Men, for the most part, are wired to be tough, chin up, take charge, let's get this done and move on.

Women are wired to snuggle and nest and are you comfortable.

Men are black and white, women are all over the place.

Any time I am talking to DH about a problem I'm having he will say something to the effect of, "I can see how that would hurt (bother, upset....)you. Now, here's what you need to do....."

When DH is talking to me about a problem he's having it goes something like this, "My poor baby! Here! Let me fix you a cup of coffee. Go sit on the couch and read your paper. Do you need a blanket?" And behind that, whoever is causing his problem is getting one more lashing in my mind!!

I believe that's why in Ephesians men are told to love, women to respect. We need to be reminded of what we should do when it doesn't come naturally to us.

While studying this lesson I realized that every time I don't respect DH, he hears this, "What you do for us isn't good enough". Talk about stopping me in my tracks!!!! To think that I ever cause my husband to believe what he does for our family isn't good enough broke my heart!! How could I do that to him???

Well, let me tell you, that really got my attention! My DH is loving and caring, gentle and patient, but he is very much a man's man and demands (and deserves) my respect. I kept reading and realized that if I don't respect my man, our children will pick up on that and treat Dad the same way they see Mom treating him. Wow.....I've witnessed that......

The lesson stated that I am not my husband's personal Holy Spirit. My job is to fulfill what God called me to do as a Help-meet to my husband. "Sweep your own porch, girlfriend!!"

So, as with every lesson so far, I realize I've got a lot of work to do. How I pray that God will help me get on track and then allow me to do what Titus 2:3-5 says.



Beth in NC said...

I think you're on to something! So true, we are called to respect our husbands. Women are very conditional, ie ... I'll respect him if he treats me as he should. In other words, if he EARNS my respect. So true.

Great observation ... and an ouchie one too!


momstheword said...

Amen. I have often thought the same thing. That's why we are told to honor and respect, because love just comes so easily.