We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.
I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.
Part 1: The Help Meet
Chapter 7: Wisdom While There is Yet Hope
Seven chapters in, I'm convinced that the one message throughout this entire book is this: We are not called to be our husband's conscience, we are called to be his help meet.
We, as wives, need to understand, accept and put into practice that the Holy Spirit owns the job of conviction, not us.
End. Of. Discussion.
How many times in a day do we find ourselves disagreeing with something our husbands have said or done? How many times has he made the statement, "We are going to ______" only to hear the retort from you, "But it would be better if we __________"
My dear sisters, we must come to the acceptance that there is coming a day when our husbands will stand before a perfect God and answer for the decisions he made as a husband and father. Likewise, we will answer to that same perfect God for the decisions we made as a help meet.
Ask yourself this, would you rather answer for how you handled your God called responsibilities as a help meet or how you jumped in and took over every time your husband didn't handle things the way you thought he should?
The good news is as long as there is breath in our bodies, we have the ability to learn, to listen and to change.
Take a moment to sit and think about your man. Think about all the things that he does that you don't understand or agree with. Think about all the times you have to pick up his dirty clothes or watch the History channel.....again. Think about how often you are in washing the supper dishes or sweeping the floor and you can hear him snoring on the couch. Think about the cheaper car he bought for you when you wanted the more expensive one. Think about the times you are worn out, too tired to move and he totally wants to know what's for supper and you were hoping he'd say, "Hey baby, I know you're tired, let's get take out!" Think about how frustrated and angry you get.
Now that you're good and worked up, stop.
Take just a moment and think about this......
Think about how empty the bed would be without him beside you at night. Think about how quiet it would be at the dinner table without his deep voice. Think about who would be taking care of your children because you are now forced to work outside the home. Think about yourself lying under the sink doing the plumbing repairs because he's not around to fix it and you can't pay a plumber. And guess what? You're still not enjoying take out because you still can't afford it!!
In our flesh, we are so eager to state our opinion and get our way. I believe the Bible calls that complaining (nagging) and the Word plainly tells us that:
"It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife."
Proverbs 21:19, NLT
"A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day."
Proverbs 27:15, NLT
God's Word is simple and plain: If we complain and quarrel with our man, it would be better if our man lived alone!!! And sadly, some men take that route.
If we can see ourselves in any of this, then maybe it's time to change our " 'stinkin' thinkin' ".
How do we do that? By going to our Father Who created us for this purpose and asking Him for wisdom.
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6, NLT
Without God's wisdom and God's help, we are sure to remain in the flesh and looking out for number one instead of living as the help meet we were created to be. Ask God to simply help you to love this man the way He loves him. Ask God to help you see him as He does. Ask God to give you the wisdom and ability to serve Him through being the wife and help meet He has created and called you to be.
When you begin looking at your man in the terms of serving God, that stinkin' thinkin' is bound to change!!
Mrs. Pearl challenges us this week to remember when our husbands do something that irritate us to stop and ask God to help us remember we don't see the whole picture as He does and to remove our critical, self-serving attitude.
If you have the book, I strongly encourage you to practice the Getting Serious with God on page 74.
Next week: Wisdom to Understand Your Man