We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.
I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.
Part 1: The Help Meet
Chapter 5: The Gift of Wisdom
It is so good to be back with you all this week and resuming our study--and hopefully putting into practice--how to be a better help meet to our husbands.
Mrs. Pearl asks the question, "Do you have enough fear of God not to question His Word?"
All I can say is, "Ouch!!" Do I fear God? Yes.
Do I question His Word? Sometimes.
Is it possible for those two to go hand in hand? No.
A healthy fear of God will give me enough faith and trust in Him to not question His Word and what He says in it. Even when the answers I'm looking for are not the ones I want to hear.
Instead of reacting in the flesh, I will act in the Word and be obedient in trusting God to keep His promises and work His perfect will in my life.
A woman asks Mrs. Pearl how she is to have a merry heart when her husband treats her harshly. She is incredibly hurt by the selfishness and harshness of her husband and a merry heart is not in the cards from from her point of view.
While thinking about this woman's question, I found myself quickly in the flesh and thinking to myself, 'You reap what you sow buddy...' then I went on to read Mrs. Pearl's answer to this woman. She basically said that you can doubt God and live in your flesh or you can trust God's Word and His promises and be accountable for your own actions. WHAT!!?? Well of course, Deb's flesh said, 'Uhhh..no. Jerky man deserves what he gets.' Then the Holy Spirit said, "You don't answer to Me for the jerky man..he does, you answer to Me for yourself."
We have to remember that we, "serve Christ by serving our husband, whether our husband deserves it or not." How is that? because again, God has called us to be help meet to our husband. He did not call us to convict our husbands about they treat us.
We, as wives, have to remember that in being a godly help meet, we are allowing someone else (our husbands) to control our lives. I don't know about you, but I am a total control freak. I have a hard time letting God have control of my life, much less DH!!
We have to remember, it's not about what we want but what God has called us to do.Giving up control is not easy. For me, it's almost impossible! That's why I know that the submitting I do is all God...there is no part of Deb involved except for the part of trusting God to convict and hold my man accountable for loving me and taking care of me as Christ did the church.
The world we live in today will argue the above to the nth degree. No woman has to put up with a man being selfish. No woman has to put up with a man not picking up after himself. No woman has to put up with a man coming home from work and hitting the recliner and not moving until bedtime....and they're right. No woman has to put up with that. But if she is trusting God in all things, then she will also trust Him to open her man's eyes to how he's treating her and God Himself will convict him and the change she desires will come.
" For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything."
Ephesians 5:22-24, NLT (emphasis mine)
" But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."
1 Corinthians 11:3, NLT (emphasis mine)
These verses clearly tell us that we are to submit to our husbands. Yes, they also speak to the husbands, but remember, this study is about us and our calling..not them.
There is no room for argument in God's Word. It's plain black and white.
Mrs. Pearl encourages us to ask God for wisdom.
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking"
James 1:5, NLT
We need wisdom to understand our man and how he ticks. We need wisdom to know when to be quiet and when to speak up. We need wisdom to love him like he needs to be loved and that wisdom is only going to come from God and it's only going to be given when we ask for it.
Mrs. Pearl asks us this week to, "Commit your way unto the Lord and say, 'Not my will, but Thine be done'."
Next week: The Beginning of Wisdom