Monday, June 1, 2009

A Bird, A New Door and a Cat Hat

A bird got in my house last night. Yes, a bird.

How did a bird get in my house you ask?

Simple. He (she?) flew in.

How did he (she?) get out?

DH ended up catching him (her?).

Let me begin at the beginning.

For several months now, I've been wanting a new front door. Our living room is surrounded by porches. On the front is the..front porch. (Imagine that!) It's covered and on the north side of the house, so very little light comes in the room from that side of the house.

On the east side of the house is another porch. This one is covered as well and screened in. It leads to our pool deck. So, very little light comes in the east window as well.

Saturday morning, both kiddos had to work so DH and I decided that this would be a great time to go get my door.

He hooked the trailor to his truck and off we went! Just me and DH bumping along merrily down the road.

Oh I could see my new door. I wanted a door that was more glass than door. Yes, I was going to welcome and embrace the light coming through that door. My new door would include the mini blind that was between the two panes of glass. You see, I love mini blinds for the privacy, hate them when it comes time to clean them. If those blinds are between two panes of glass, guess what I don't have to do?? Clean them!! Woot!!! (is anyone doing the happy dance with me right now???!!! Oh yeah! Don't have to clean the blinds!! Oh yeah!! Woo hoo!!)....sorry.....

We arrive at the store, pick out my beautiful, wonderful, light welcoming for it and we're are back on the road again.

At home, we set right to work getting the old door out and putting my new door in. For once, a small remodel is just that...a small remodel. (you see, the main part of our house is over 100 year old. Not too much of anything is a "small" job in our house.......)

Oh...I just oooed and ahhed and kept sliding the little switch thing open and close.

Light, no light. Light, no light. It was great!!!!

Now. If you've been checking in with me regularly....and I know you have been because I'm just funny and serious and interesting and great and just the bestest writer around...and you probably feel sorry for me and just want to encourage me...but you know that we have birds nesting on our front porch...(ahhh...I see the light coming on......)

That wonderful little Mama Bird and Papa Bird hatched 5 beautiful baby birds a few weeks ago. ( I'll spare you the nasty details of what I've been cleaning up on a regular basis for a few weeks now.....)

Well, those sweet, precious, loud, pooping machines....uh, babies, have learned to fly. Walking on our front porch or even in our front yard now is a daily lesson in how to avoid getting hit by diving air missiles....umm....upset birds.

My friend R dropped by after church for a few minutes last night and we were oohhing and aahhing over my new door. She got ready to leave and went out the front door. We don't usually use the front door that much, but since her van was parked in that direction, it just made more sense.

Now, let me set the scene.

It's dusky dark. The baby birds are roosting around my front porch because they can't fit in the nest anymore. Our light is on in the living room and the door is open.

R says, "Well, gotta go! I'll call you later!"

I say, "Okay! Be careful!"

Baby bird thinks, "Head toward the light."

And he does.

Baby flies in the house.

Miss Kitty notices bird flying around the living room, begins to wildly chase bird.

R is laughing hysterically.....(some help she is........)

DD and her boyfriend, who were sitting on the screened porch, are laughing at Miss KItty chasing the bird.

DS and R's son, who are dripping wet from being in the pool, are standing with noses pressed up against the window cheering the Baby bird.

DH is trying to keep the Baby away from the ceiling fan that is on and going around in hyperspeed.

Miss Kitty has now noticed that the front door is open and there are A LOT of meals roosting on the porch. Miss Kitty is strictly an indoor cat.....Miss Kitty darts for the door, I dart after Miss Kitty.

Baby is still flying in circles in our living room just outside the perimeter of the spinning blades of death.

I grab Miss Kitty who begins to wiggle and fight and make these funny gut noises.

DH has clicked the fan switch so much that we're not sure what speed the blades are at right now and Baby is still flying in circles around the spinning blades of death.

DH finally grabs a flashlight and turns off the switch to the entire fan. He aims the flashlight at the front door. Baby, once again, flies toward the light.

Miss Kitty has wiggled high enough on my neck that I'm now wearing a live cat scarf that makes funny gut noises.

Baby misses door, flies behind door and is now making quite a racket.

Miss Kitty hears the racket, decides that I need a new hat as she climbs past my neck up to the top of my head. (Let's remember that Miss Kitty is almost 7 years old and weighs about 25 pounds...really.....)

Finally, because I can't see anything but Miss Kitty belly, I hear DH, DD and her boyfriend, DS and R's son, (R is still laughing.....(thanks ssoooooo much R!) cheer!

DH actually caught Baby and put him (her?) out the front door.

DH shuts the door about the time my Miss Kitty hat flies off my head and the fiasco is over.

And who says life is boring?????


Leslie said...

HA, HA, HA, HA! We had a bird in our house once... during the only time we ever had a cat (no cats anymore because oldest son is allergic). I had to call my husband home from work to get it out of the house, but our story isn't nearly as hysterical as yours!

Trixie said...

WOW! What an ordeal! That is Too funny!!! We have bull finch family nexted on our porch, but thankfully they aren't by the door. They are, however, above the swing, and the Dad doesn't care so much for us sitting out in the for sharing your post, it is very refreshing to read on a Monday :)



Nanci said...

Oh, that is just toooo HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

I haven't been too kindly disposed to the over-protective Robin parents who feel compelled to dive-bomb us each time we come out our door, or to the mess they have been leaving on our patio lately. However, after your tale, I'm beginning to think that they are looking like pretty good tenants in comparison to yours.

Kerri said...

LOL!! Since I know everyone there (except B's BF), I can just picture each of you... R was about as much help as I would have been, I'm sure! (Hi R!)..... Poor Miss Kitty -- cheated out of a little birdie dinner. For your sake, I sure hope she's been declawed!!!!

Kerri said...

BTW... congrats on the new door. I'm sure it looks awesome! Those built-in mini-blind thingies are a great idea...