Monday, November 30, 2009

I'm Back and, Oh, the Things I've Learned..

I find it amazing what God can do when I am just quiet and undistracted and able to listen. I've heard it said that God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason...I'm sure this applies to more than the physical ears and mouth as well!

During my 'blogging rest', I learned a few things.

I learned that I stress way too much about my blog.

Ouch. Hard one for me to confess, but it's true. I find myself wondering how others can have hundreds (or even one hundred) followers, and I can't get past fifty. I find myself wondering why my stat counter only goes up 2 or 3 hits a day sometimes. I wonder why what began as a way to learn to be a better writer, somehow minister and just have a little fun has become something that dictates how my day goes.

When that happens, I've learned that I open the door and allow the enemy to attack me. He tells me I don't write well enough, I'm not funny enough...too boring...not godly enough....what makes me think that anyone would want to read what I write...and I found myself believing him!!

I put way too much pressure on myself to post everyday just so I could keep the readers I have.


Meanwhile I realized how much was falling by the wayside here at home while I was busy worrying about blog world. Again, wow.

I realized how much this blog.....this computer period...had become a god and was getting in the way of my relationship with the real God.

When I first began my break, I found myself frustrated and irritated, but as the days went by, I found that I had to admit that blogging was running my life instead of the other way around.

Do I want God to use my writing to serve Him? You bet.

Do I want to share and laugh and cry and minister with this blog? You bet.

Do I want to continue blogging? You bet.

I've just got to change some things. So, at least for now, here's where I'm at:

I'm only going to post as God directs. Doesn't mean that everything I post will be about my Father or a relationship with Him..could be something informative, fun or something I just feel led to share, but my steps will be directed by Him. So there may be times when I post everyday or even more than once a day, and there may be times I only post a couple of times a week...but no matter, when I do post, it will be because God has given me the okay.

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives."
Psalm 37:23, NLT
I'm going to be finishing our study on Created to be His Help Meet because I feel that is truly something that God has His hand on, so we will be picking back up where we left off this Friday.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."
Genesis 2:18, KJV
If I gain followers...YEAH!!!!!!!! ....if I lose them, then I'm trusting God knows and if it's something I need to change, then He'll show me that as well.

I want God to dictate every area of my life and I don't want to be in charge of any of it. I want everything I do to honor Him and I want it to always be done the way He wants it other words, I want to be in line with HIS will, not mine.

So, I'm rested, my mind is clearer and I'm back in a different way. Prayerfully I will remain in the way God wants me because that is what is most important to me.

With that...........

I do hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We were so blessed and even more so because we were able, with the help of our church, to provide a Thanksgiving dinner to a family who is living in a hotel at this point with their five children. Circumstance beyond their control brought them to this place and God put them in path of DD and DS at their job. Our church provided the meal, DD, DS and I prepared it while DH did all the extras that I couldn't while preparing two meals. We were able to deliver it by noon. While we sat down to our meal here at home, we were all even more thankful for the abundant blessings that God has given to us.

We put our Christmas tree up last night and I have to tell you, it was an emotional time for us. Our tree doesn't have a theme or a particular color scheme, it tells a story. The ornaments on our tree tell of the past 26 years of our lives. The good times and the not so good. Handmade ornaments, passed down ornaments and expensive, delicate ornaments. I could look at each one and tell you what was going on in our lives at that time. The emotion that came with each one. Our tree is a smorgasbord of everything, but I wouldn't do anything different.

Finally, I won a give-a-way that Larie hosted over at her blog My Heart Speaks!!! I won a magazine subscription to a magazine called In Her Heart. I've never heard of it before, but it sounds so good and I can't wait until I receive it and can sit down and soak it up! Thanks Lari!!!
I love you all so much and many of you have touched my life in a way that I am eternally thankful.

"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God."
Philippians 1:3, NLT


Andrea said...

I totally understand. It was when I quit worrying about my blog and just posted as GOD led...that is when both my blogs took off. Amazing how GOD works. HE is awesome. Praising GOD for your time with Him.
Blessings, hugs, and prayers, andrea

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

I'm with you on the blog thing. I've been there already and I still struggle with it. Isn't it amazing how Satan takes something that is meant for good and turns it into an idol. Even the most innocent of things.

I had to go through this when I got turned on to scrapbooking. I felt called to stop scrapping for almost half a year and then I could only do it when I had "permission" from the Lord. It was a hard process. He wants ALL of us, doesn't He?

I appreciate your honesty with us. That is what makes me keep coming back. You haven't lost this follower!


momstheword said...

I totally understand where you're coming from. Some blogs have tons of followers or they'll post a picture with a caption and get over 100 comments!

People say if you want more comments, you have to visit more blogs and leave comments (or participate in memes). But as fun as that may be, it also takes time away from your day and your own blogging.

So, as you said, you really just have to be at peace with the whole blogging thing, and blog when you feel led.

I don't usually blog every day either due to time constraints! At times I have worried about losing followers but, like you said, you have to put your family first!

Collette@Jesuslovesmums said...

so glad you are back dear friend and the lessons you have learnt are excellent! I look forward to reading your God directed postings!
Love your tree!
Love Collette x

Sandy said...

Hi, Deb. I hear you, girl. I've stepped back from blogging. I haven't completely stopped, but I've definitely cut waaaaay back. I still read several blogs, but writing posts for my blog uses up too much of my already limited time.

About the stat counter...don't forget that a lot of people use readers. I don't usually visit your blog unless I'm posting a comment, but I read all your posts via my Google Reader.

May you find your focus in Him,

Michelle said...

I really appreciate your honesty! I honestly started blogging just for shorten the distance between me and them. Later, I noticed it seemed therapeutic for me and that's why I've continued.

But it's funny you say this...I've thought the same thing at times. At times I've been tempted to turn this into something about me that it shouldn't be. "What's wrong with me? Why don't people like my blog?" Then I quickly feel foolish and remind myself, I'm not blogging for other's, smile. I have 3 followers who probably never read it...or rarely. Oh, and my family NEVER reads it, lol.

My favorite blogs are not the ones that want to "minister" to me (though there's nothing wrong with a blog whose pupose is to minister). I just find that my favorite blogs are the ones that are by people just telling about their life and what God's doing in it.

Glad your back:)

Learning to see grace,

Michelle said...

I forgot to tell you that I don't "follow" your blog by being on your "followers" list. I have you on my blogroll and when you update your site, I visit and read. But I've only had you on my list for about a month maybe.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

My sister and had this same "Ah ha moment" about blogging a few months ago. We were obsessing about our blogs and things were neglecting things in our homes because of blogging. We've held each other accountable in this area since then. While it has been a struggle, I find it really has helped. I'm not letting blogging/Facebooking run my life and more. Praise God for showing us a balance. We we allow the Lord to lead, He will always bless. BTW, love your tree!


Kristen said...

I'm so happy for you. You know...I'm realizing a lot of things about my blog lately...and been really doing some deep thinking myself. I may have ??? number of followers but the thing is....quite a few of those only started following for the giveaways...and I always said I wanted to gain readers for content...not prizes and stuff I could give them. I've been trying to stick to a better life/blog schedule lately....and doing pretty darn good!! Thank you so much for being such an inspiration to me and others. I'm so glad to have found you.