Friday, January 22, 2010

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 2: Titus 2

Chapter 16: To Love Their Husbands

Today's topic covers a subject that may be uncomfortable to many women. I tried very hard to address this in a polite manner. It is not my intent to offend, only share.

I found myself asking what does loving my husband mean to me?

For me, it means making sure his needs are met. This covers everything from meals on time, clean uniforms, a clean, organized house, well behaved kids when he gets home from work and intimate time frequently.

In this chapter, Mrs. Pearl addresses this very issue..intimate time with our husbands.

She shares with us from Ephesians 5:31,
"As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' " NLT

United into one. This is only going to come from being intimate with your husband.

I'm sure you've noticed in your own marriages that when your husband is satisfied sexually, things just seem to be....better.

For men, sex is a great stress reliever and it is also one of the ways that they show their wives they love them. Maybe it's the most important way because a husband who has been refused by his wife time and time again, begins to believe that he's not man enough to keep her satisfied.

Satan will begin to feed him lies that if she's not making love to him, she's got to be "giving in" to someone else--even if this isn't true.

As a woman and wife, it sometimes seems that sex is the cure-all for everything where a man is concerned. What I've learned through Mrs. Pearl's book, is that I'm not too far off course.

A man who truly loves his wife knows that after a terribly stressful day at work, the intimacy with his wife will not only relieve his stress, but it will also remind him that everything he is dealing with is so worth it for this woman who only desires to please him.

Husbands also know when their wives aren't "there" 100%. They know when they are getting a half-hearted effort from their wives. This may be okay for a short time, but there will come a moment when half their wife isn't enough.

Most godly husbands are loving and considerate enough to know when their wife is exhausted because she's had one child running a fever, one child throwing up and two more running wild because Mom hasn't been able to give them her full attention. He loves her enough to lay down with her at night and just hold her while she falls asleep. But he is also wise enough to know when she is just making an excuse every night of the week.

Mrs. Pearl encourages wives to view sex as a ministry to their husbands. I had never thought of sex as a ministry. She asks us to think of the times that we've ministered to others--by making meals, watching children or whatever. We come away so totally blessed because we tried to bless someone.

Then she asks us to look at blessing our husbands intimately the same way. By taking the initiative to minister--to set the mood, do something out of the ordinary--we will find that we, as wives, will come away from that private time just as satisfied as our man--maybe more so.
Our challenge for this week is to make personal plans on how we are going to love our husbands. She suggests doing something that we don't normally do or have never done before. She also encourages us to read the Song of Solomon this week.

*** There is an exception to this rule of being intimate with our husbands---sexual perversion. On page 174, Mrs. Pearl tells us that there are certain acts that are wrong and not natural for our bodies. She quotes Romans 1:26-28 as our guideline for this. If you would like to discuss this area a little further, please e-mail me and I would be glad to share what she's written with you.

Next week: To Love Their Children


Beth in NC said...

I really enjoyed this book when I worked through it. I hope you'll introduce this to some new folks.


Michelle said...

I am so glad to have come across your blog because you were kind enough to join my new little corner on blogosphere!

Thank you for sharing this. I have been blessed by Debi and her husband before through their website, but I have never read this book before.

What a great reminder of how to love our husbands. It is good to see this as a ministry because it gets the focus off of ourselves and causes us to think of his needs.

Have a blessed weekend!