Friday, January 8, 2010

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 2: Titus 2

Chapter 15: To Be Sober

This week begins Part 2 of our study, Created to be His Help Meet. We will begin studying Titus 2, which, in my opinion, is the model for us women as wives.

This chapter is titled, To Be Sober. What does it mean to be sober? Webster's gives a couple of definitions. The most obvious is to not be drunk. However, taking into context what we are talking about, this is the definition Webster's gives: 1)Quiet in demeanor 2)Free from excess 3) Showing self control 4) Rational.


That alone give us cause to stop and reflect on ourselves while thinking about Titus 2:4a, "That they may teach the young women to be sober." KJV

So, according to the definition of sober, a sober wife ceases to be loud and boisterous, extravagant, indulgent and irrational. No longer single, a sober wife will consider the needs of her husband.

Instead of spending wildly (which I've been guilty of in the past) she will show self control by some rational thinking and spend the income wisely buying what's needed and respecting her husband's decisions concerning that.

I love the way Mrs. Pearl words the wife's job, "She becomes the acting CEO of a great enterprise of which her husband is the owner." (page 147)

Mrs. Pearl shares a letter from a woman whose husband came home from work one day and instead of asking his wife how she was or how her day went (she'd been sick and many household chores didn't get done) he began asking why this wasn't done or when supper would be ready. He was selfish and insensitive to his wife. She asked Mrs. Pearl what was she suppose to do, reward this insensitive man??

Well, I have to agree that in my flesh, it would have been on. Mrs. Pearl pointed out though that we, as wives, are still required to do what God has called us to do...honor our husbands. Two wrongs don't make a right and an argument can't survive unless it is being fed.

It is very important for wives to plan. We truly need to simplify and plan out our days so that when those unexpected things come up, we are prepared. We are reminded on page 148 that if our husbands failed to plan on their jobs, they would soon be unemployed.

We are encouraged to use our crock pots. This, to me, is one of the greatest inventions ever. Get that meal going in the morning and supper is one less worry in the evening. Most men don't need 7 course meals. They are happy with some homemade chicken soup and fresh bread. Life doesn't have to be extravagant to be wonderful, but less stress..that's a must.

On page 155 is a list of things titled:

How to be a Good Wife Today

* Have dinner ready--I can't think of any man that isn't grateful for that meal waiting on him when he walks in the door

* Prepare yourself--Taking just a few minutes to touch up your makeup and comb your hair will make you feel better..and believe me, your man will notice!!!

* Clear away the clutter--Right before your hubby gets home, go through the main part of the house and pick up those things that are laying around. Again, less stress.

* Prepare the children and minimize the noise--When it was time for my hubby to get home, the kids were allowed to greet Daddy with hugs and kisses, but then they were to go to their room for 30 minutes and play quietly while Daddy rested and unwound and I finished our meal. Dad was then more than ready to enjoy those babies!!!

I try very hard to work my schedule around my husband's. I am home when he is home and run any errands or do deep cleaning when he's at work. If he wants to go out, he brings it up....even if I'm dying to try the new restaurant in town..he works hard to support our family and my schedule is flexible to his needs.

Mrs. Pearl encourages us to think of a time that our husband hurt our feelings or made us angry and we responded wrongly. She asks us to write the story down the way it happened and then to rewrite it with the alternate ending with the way we should have responded to our man. Hopefully in seeing it on paper, this will encourage us to think before we react in the future.

Next week: To Love Their Husbands


Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

I really try hard to get the clutter picked up and have the counters washed right before he gets home. It's hard, because he doesn't get home until right after breakfast. He arrives, literally, during the most hectic part of my day, when I'm trying to get the kids and I ready for the day, make and clean up breakfast, and trying to have them get their chores done. As you would guess, it doesn't always work out the way I want it to.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I've been trying to do these things and I really do think it makes for a more peaceful entrance when my hubby comes home. It kind of sets the tone for the rest of the evening. Wonderful post!