Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Sometimes It's Tough......

Yes, I confess, it has been way too long since I have posted a blog of any sort. It isn't that I haven't had anything to share or say...I've had plenty...but I have another confession.....I have let the enemy shut my mouth, my words. I've allowed him to convince me that saying nothing is better than posting things that may upset, offend, contradict people. I've allowed him to convince me that the things I believe in, the things that I believe God has led me to--whether He has led others to this place or not--is of no value and will cause others to look at me as the odd duck, the nut job, the weirdo.

This attack that I've allowed has affected more than my writing, it's affected my prayer life, my time in the Word, my time with God. It has affected my joy and my peace. In short, it has taken me to a place that no child of God should ever be. And God has tried...oh has He tried to get me out of the pit, away from the destructive thought process and I have just put my blinders on and my ear plugs in and totally ignored the One Who loves me beyond measure.

Confession is good for the soul. That's how the saying goes anyway, but there is a lot of truth in that. Confession to my Savior is a necessary thing for mine and His relationship!! Confession to you is necessary because I refuse to believe that I am the only one that has been under this attack. This allows you to see me, as transparent as I can be, as a real live person, a real live Christian, who doesn't always run to her Daddy as she should. Thus the awful place I have been for, actually, many, many months.

What does this have to do with homesteading? After all isn't the title of this blog Small Homestead Living?? Well, I'm not real sure it has anything to do with homesteading at all. But I am sure that it has everything to do with life on a real level and that is exactly what homesteading is....real life, everyday ups and downs, good and bad.

So, in keeping things real, every post you read on here will not be about gardens, chickens, rabbits, line drying laundry, canning and such as that. There will be posts about homeschooling. There will be posts about my walk as a child of God and whatever He chooses to tell me to write about...even if it upsets you a little and you disagree with me. There will be posts about being a godly help meet and what that TRULY means....because believe me, that view is very distorted. There will be posts about being a homemaker...again you may disagree with my views on that and I am truly okay with that, but I have to write what God gives me and sometimes that can be contradictory. It is possible to love each other and disagree...

I already know where God wants me to go next. Amazing when you quit fighting Him how much He fills you, peace, boldness, compassion.

So let me encourage you. If you're feeling a bit out of sorts, if you're feeling like nobody gets you and you don't even get yourself anymore, if you're feeling like you are the only duck on a big ole pond and you're going under because you are feeling so deeply alone because of your are not alone. I'm right here with you and more than that HE...our heavenly Daddy is right here and He is overjoyed because you have made the decision to say enough is enough!! He is ready to fight your battle because you finally made a decision to hand over the reigns and say, "Here you go Daddy. Fight for Your baby because I am so tired..."

"I will give them a heart to know Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:12-13

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