I Am a Homemaker (Part Three)

Now that we have sought God and we are aware of the things required of us as older women, it is time to look into what we must be doing ourselves and teaching the younger women to do as well.

If we are holy in our behavior, not speaking against others, not given to wine and teaching what is good, it will be noticed. The younger women will see that there is something different about us and they will see that our marriages are good, are children are good, our homes are good and they will desire that in their own worlds.

We, as older women, are to teach the younger women to love their husbands.

Love our man. Show him respect. Put him above all but Christ. Sacrifice for him. What pleases him? What does he want to see in his home? Does he want supper done when he gets home from work? Does he want his laundry kept up so that whatever he needs is handy when he reaches for it? Does he want the finances in order, even if they're tight? You know your man. You know what shows love to him and you need to be making sure that it's getting done for him. And then we need to teach this very thing to the younger women so their husbands will know that they are loved.

Love our children. My children, as I'm sure as are yours, are my world. A mother's love for her children is mind blowing. As older women, we have developed more patience and we have learned a few things along the way and it's important for us to teach this to the younger women. A child who wants to wear their pj's all day is no big deal. Macaroni and cheese for breakfast? No problem. As women we can get overwhelmed by all there is to do in our day and we can forget that our children need and crave our attention. If we don't give them attention while they are acting good, they will start acting out to get our attention. Turn off the phone, the computer, the tablet, the tv and invest real quality time in your children!! I can't even begin to make you realize that the last thing you want to hear from your adult children is, "Mom always had her nose in the phone and couldn't be bothered." What is so important in the technology highway that it should take away from your children??

Be wise and pure. Wisdom comes with time and experience and that's why it is so important for older women to share their wisdom and so important for younger women to seek and listen to older women. Younger women, you could avoid so many problems if you would just treat the wisdom you obtain as precious, pray and give it a try in your own home and life. We've been there, done that and you have the power to stop the generational curses just by listening and applying older wisdom.

Pure. Free from harshness or roughness , unmixed with any other matter. If Jesus is your Savior, then allowing things of the world to be mixed in with you means you are not pure. Think about it......

There are still three other things to go over, and we'll hit those in the next post. I believe there is enough to think about for now. I know there is for me...

Pssst.....Follow Me....

I know I don't regularly do a post on Saturday, but just had to pass along that I'd love it if you'd head on over to The Well today. You'll never guess whose got something going on over there!!! :o)

Am I Available?

In a very short time she has come to love this place. God has brought her out of her shell and put her in positions that she has had to step up and stretch the confines of her box.

Reading before a group of very godly women, visiting the shut ins and making conversation, driving to places she has no idea where she's going just to deliver a meal to a needy family--all things that she has a hard time doing, yet God has called her to do these things.

He also called her back into teaching. She wasn't thrilled about this and told God so. It didn't much matter to Him whether or not she was excited about the calling, just that she was willing to do so.

Like a child who is dragging their feet to get to the bathtub after a wonderful day of playing outdoors, she found herself giving Him a dragging "Okay...I'll do it....."

He would have liked enthusiasm and excitement, but He can work with what little she offers.

And He did.

She began teaching those sweet faces on Wednesday nights almost 4 months ago and she has never regretted it for a minute. God has richly blessed her availability with the biggest blessing of all; the fact that she can't wait to see those girls each week. If one is missing, her heart does a drop and she prays that they are okay.

You see, several of those girls ride the van and their home-life is....strained, at best.

She's fallen in love and she owes so much to God.

This day had found her at the church cleaning. Things had gotten so neglected in her classroom and since Pastor had declared a church cleaning day for Saturday, she couldn't wait to get started weeding and deep cleaning.

Pastor had even gotten paint so she could paint the walls and make it all fresh and new!! She was so excited about how beautiful God's house was going to look when they all got finished.

Some were planting plants others were washing walls. Dusting woodwork, washing windows...oh this was a fine thing that was going on for God!!

Something bothered her though. Something deep inside her.

Where was everybody??

The best she could estimate, only 20 or so people showed up. Out of what??......150 or so!!??

Why?

Given the obvious that some had to work and some had prior commitments but where was everybody at?

She tried to just let it roll off her back, but she found herself saddened by the fact that so few found joy in cleaning God's "house". The place they all came together to worship Him. The place they all came together to cry and laugh, to praise and pray.

Have we allowed satan to keep us so busy that we can't be bothered with the things of God. Whether it's sharing the Gospel or cleaning a toilet in His name, are we so consumed with ourselves that we just can't carve out more than a couple of hours on a Sunday or an hour on a Wednesday to give to Him??

She is guilty of this sin called busy-ness too. How many times has she walked by someone just needing some encouragement. How many times could she have reached out, but in her haste "didn't have the time"?

Oh satan is cunning, for sure. How easily he slithers in and robs us of so many blessings.

She finds herself bowing before Him, asking Him to forgive her and to make her even more sensitive to the importance of the things of His Kingdom. No matter the calling..whether man deems it as big or small...obedience to Him. Thankfulness to Him. Gratitude to Him. Living...for Him.

Does He deserve any less?

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/

Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 2: Titus 2

Chapter 20: Keepers at Home

This could be a controversial chapter except for the fact of God's Word. We can sit and debate all day long whether or not a wife should work outside the home or not, but I'm not willing to debate. God's Word is not debatable. It is fact.

Apart from Titus 2:4, we are also given 1 Timothy 5:14 "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." KJV, emphasis mine

According to this verse, it is God's will for a young woman to guide her home. She can't do that job completely if her time is divided between the house and working a job away from home.

I found it interesting that Mrs. Pearl points out there is a difference in being a stay at home wife/mom and a keeper of the home. Anyone can stay at home, but a keeper of the home has a heart for the home. She will guard it and protect it and those who live inside it. Her body and mind will be about keeping the home.

As a keeper at home, we have to be so careful to make sure that we don't fall prey to those awful time stealers: telephone, television, computer (ouch!!), reading books...anything that will take our valuable time and make it idle time.

I am aware that some men insist that their wife work outside the home. What to do when God is willing you to be a keeper of your home, but He has also commanded you to be obedient to your husband.

Mrs. Pearl suggests these things:

* Keep a right attitude. If you have a true heart to be obedient to God and to your husband, God knows this and will make a way to resolve this conflict

* Express your concern to your husband and show him Scripture that shows God's will for your life

* Ask your husband is there a way for you to stay at home and earn some income

* Show your husband that you are serious about living on only his paycheck. Do this by shopping at yard sales and thrift stores. Don't buy new..shop around for good used whatever it is, big or small. Don't complain about wanting this or wishing for that. Show your husband that your heart is sincere about keeping your home.

I have to believe that if our husbands saw our sincerity in staying home through how hard we work to stretch their paychecks and finding a purpose for almost everything instead of throwing it out, they would be more encouraged that their wife truly is their help meet.

Next week: Good

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/ Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 2: Titus 2

Chapter 19: Chaste

Chaste: To be pure in our thoughts, our words, our actions; to be modest and honorable in ALL things.

Just take a moment to look at what the word chaste means....does this describe me? Does this describe you?

I believe that many sins, many bad attitudes can be stopped at the thought process. Whatever we think, if dwelt upon, will come out of our mouth which results in actions...be it a smart attitude, anger, jealousy---and this is true in our everyday lives, not just our relationship with our husbands.

It's very important that our thoughts are pure, this means well spent time in the Word, this means discernment on what we read, listen to and watch on tv.

It's also important that we be modest in how we dress. I am shocked, amazed, disappointed, saddened, angered....by the way women today dress. There is hardly anything left for the imagination and it's no wonder that men feel the boldness to approach a woman in a very derogatory manner.

Men are visual creatures. It's the way God created them, so as women, we can't go around wagging our finger and our tongue accusing men of being filthy, low-down, dogs when everywhere they look they can see a female whose skirt is too short, whose blouse is cut to low, whose bathing suit covers less skin than underwear does!!

When anyone sees an image, a picture, it is forever burned into our memories and we can pull it up at will at any time. Why, why, why would we want to dress in such a way that would cause a Christian brother to stumble or a lost brother to lust??

My family and I have been a part of many churches and ministries over the years and sadly, immodest dress can even be found in our churches. I cannot count how many times we have walked into God's house only to be greeted by low cut shirts and high skirts from teenagers to older women. What kind of example are we setting for the world? More importantly, what kind of example are we setting for the young women in our homes that we are raising and training and praying will grow into godly help meets for their own husbands?

Let me encourage each of us to examine within ourselves, our thoughts, words and actions and let's especially take a look at how we dress. We don't have to look frumpy and we don't have to wear clothing that is 3 sizes too big for us, but let's make sure that we don't look like our clothing has been painted on or that we couldn't afford to buy the whole outfit. Let's leave sexy for the privacy we enjoy with our husbands!!

Next week: Keepers at Home

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/ Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 2: Titus 2

Chapter 16: To Be Discreet

We often think of being discreet as the ability to do avoid saying or doing something that may offend someone else. Mrs. Pearl did a little digging though and found that the word "discreet" actually means...."Prudent; wise in avoiding error and in selecting the best means to accomplish a purpose; circumspect; courteous, polite, honest dealings."

In reading this definition, I find that I'm pretty sure I'm missing it some areas, so let's see what we can do to change those things.

1) Seek to be Courteous

It is always important to make sure that we consider the other person's feelings. We should always make sure that we are treating others as we want to be treated.

While reading this I was taken back to a time in my life when telemarketers would call our house and I would either A. Answer with a really bad attitude, cut them short and then hang up while they were still talking or B. I would answer the phone and then hang it back up without saying a word.

Now, after conviction and prayer, I realize that the person on the other end of that line is just trying to make a living. They are just trying to pay their bills and provide for their families. They are just doing their job. So now, I do one of two things..A. I just don't answer the phone (caller ID) or B. I answer with a pleasant voice, wait for a lull in the spiel and politely tell them I'm not interested. Yes, sometimes I have to repeat myself a couple of times, but at least I'm not being rude.

2) Seek to be Honest

This may seem pretty self-explanatory, but it goes beyond don't tell a lie. It means don't manipulate a situation so that it will benefit you. Don't take home extra ketchup and salt from the bins at the fast food restaurant. Don't keep that extra change the cashier gave you and go back in and pay for that item you overlooked in your buggy and managed to get out of the store with without the alarm going off......yes, a couple of weeks ago I "stole" a video for about 12 seconds. Yes, I ran back in with my red face and confessed my sin and paid for the video. Yes, the cashier looked at me like I'd lost my mind for coming back in and being honest....isn't that so sad.........

3) Seek to be Gracious

Whenever your man does something to bless you, be pleased, be happy, enjoy the blessing. If he does something that is normally "your chore", just bask in the fact he loved you enough to do it. Don't point out the lump in the bed, the corner of dirt he missed or that the folded the towels backward.

He did what he did to bless you because he loves you..let that soak in.

Our challenge for this week is to take the list of the words below and mark an X by each one you feel you are lacking in. Then write out beside each word what you are going to start doing that will bring you closer to becoming what God desires of you.

*Chaste *Quiet Spirit *Prudent
*Sober *In subjection *Good
*Modest *Obedient *Discreet
*Shamefacedness *Kind *Keeper at Home
*Meek *Virtuous *Gracious

Next week: Chaste

How Am I Doing??

As many of you already know, and for those of you who don't, I am one of the writers over At the Well. This opportunity has blessed me with a sisterhood of Christian women like none I've ever known. These women are strong, encouraging and faithful and I've come to love each one in their own way.

In January I did a post for At the Well (click here to link to that post) and the idea was to tell what was our goal, resolutions, directions that God was sending us for the new year.

I decided that month by month I would do a recap--a catch up of sorts--to share how I'm doing. Am I doing this to brag?? Uh...no. I'm actually doing this to keep me accountable an, as I've mentioned here and in that post, to make myself real to so many people who may read our blogs and think we've got it all together and there are no problems or struggles going on in our lives. I know that sometimes I read other's blogs and find myself thinking, "If only I......."

One thing I believe I've clearly heard from God was that this blog must be real.

So, here goes...

**I made a decision to be real with God. I'd like to tell you that I was faultless in January in my time spent with God. While I have done better, I have not been consistent with my daily quiet time. It has been hit and miss at best. Now, I could lay out every excuse in the book, but I'm not going there. Being real is being real, right?

So I press along, putting my fingers in my ears and telling satan to buzz off each and every time he tries to convince me that God doesn't love me as much as He does His other children because I don't spend enough time with Him.

**I also made a decision to get on the same page with DH concerning my spending and I'm pleased to say that I did really good last month. Making the decision to spend strictly cash was a very good step for me. Watching that actual cash dwindle away really puts spending in perspective!!!

**I committed, as well, to weed my time on this computer and even though I've added Facebook to my list of things to occupy my computer time, I have done a bit better at walking by and resisting the urge to see what's going on in cyber-land. I still thing I'm spending too much time on here and I still believe that I'm not spending the time I am on here wisely, but hey, progress is progress, right??

Well, there you have it. One month into the new year and I've made a couple steps forward and I'm still standing stagnant in others, but I am working with God now instead of against Him so I'm excited to see what He's got in store for me in February!!

And by the way--that 50 pounds I need to lose????--Only 2 this month. Haven't really tried, cuz you see, there was that leftover Christmas candy, and the trip to Gatlinburg and the fudge shops there and the...... :o)

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 2: Titus 2

Chapter 16: To Love Their Husbands

Today's topic covers a subject that may be uncomfortable to many women. I tried very hard to address this in a polite manner. It is not my intent to offend, only share.

I found myself asking what does loving my husband mean to me?

For me, it means making sure his needs are met. This covers everything from meals on time, clean uniforms, a clean, organized house, well behaved kids when he gets home from work and intimate time frequently.

In this chapter, Mrs. Pearl addresses this very issue..intimate time with our husbands.

She shares with us from Ephesians 5:31,

"As the Scriptures say, 'A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' " NLT

United into one. This is only going to come from being intimate with your husband.

I'm sure you've noticed in your own marriages that when your husband is satisfied sexually, things just seem to be....better.

For men, sex is a great stress reliever and it is also one of the ways that they show their wives they love them. Maybe it's the most important way because a husband who has been refused by his wife time and time again, begins to believe that he's not man enough to keep her satisfied.

Satan will begin to feed him lies that if she's not making love to him, she's got to be "giving in" to someone else--even if this isn't true.

As a woman and wife, it sometimes seems that sex is the cure-all for everything where a man is concerned. What I've learned through Mrs. Pearl's book, is that I'm not too far off course.

A man who truly loves his wife knows that after a terribly stressful day at work, the intimacy with his wife will not only relieve his stress, but it will also remind him that everything he is dealing with is so worth it for this woman who only desires to please him.

Husbands also know when their wives aren't "there" 100%. They know when they are getting a half-hearted effort from their wives. This may be okay for a short time, but there will come a moment when half their wife isn't enough.

Most godly husbands are loving and considerate enough to know when their wife is exhausted because she's had one child running a fever, one child throwing up and two more running wild because Mom hasn't been able to give them her full attention. He loves her enough to lay down with her at night and just hold her while she falls asleep. But he is also wise enough to know when she is just making an excuse every night of the week.

Mrs. Pearl encourages wives to view sex as a ministry to their husbands. I had never thought of sex as a ministry. She asks us to think of the times that we've ministered to others--by making meals, watching children or whatever. We come away so totally blessed because we tried to bless someone.

Then she asks us to look at blessing our husbands intimately the same way. By taking the initiative to minister--to set the mood, do something out of the ordinary--we will find that we, as wives, will come away from that private time just as satisfied as our man--maybe more so.
Our challenge for this week is to make personal plans on how we are going to love our husbands. She suggests doing something that we don't normally do or have never done before. She also encourages us to read the Song of Solomon this week.

*** There is an exception to this rule of being intimate with our husbands---sexual perversion. On page 174, Mrs. Pearl tells us that there are certain acts that are wrong and not natural for our bodies. She quotes Romans 1:26-28 as our guideline for this. If you would like to discuss this area a little further, please e-mail me and I would be glad to share what she's written with you.

Next week: To Love Their Children

I Choose.....

I received this in an e-mail some time back. I loved it so much and truly desire to live this way. May it speak to your heart as well......

It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose......

I CHOOSE LOVE...No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstances. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE...I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE .....I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS...I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS...I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS...Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS...Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will not, rule the eternal. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.

LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS AND SELF CONTROL Gal.5:22,23

To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest with the peace that passes all understanding.

-- Author Unknown

I'm At The Well!!

Hi Everyone!!!

Hope you're having a wonderful Tuesday!!

Me...I'm over at The Well today! Click here to join with me. My post title?

It Doesn't Need to be Difficult

Three Mondays and Counting

We woke up Saturday morning to the most beautiful blessing....a dusting of beautiful, white snow was blanketing the ground. It wasn't much, it seldom is where we live, but it was so beautiful and so peaceful to look at. It took each one of us back in time to our mission field days in Colorado where snow on the ground was a very normal winter-time occurrence. For this family, it officially now 'feels' like Christmas.



I don't know about the rest of you, but when things like this snowfall happens, it always serves to remind me that God is always eager for ways to bless us and to bring back to mind the things that make us smile.

Meanwhile, it's December 7th, and I hope that all of your decorating is done, those Christmas cards are in the mail and you are able to enjoy this time of wrapping gifts and baking Christmas goodies with your family while Bing Crosby is busy crooning in the background, "I'll be home for Christmas...." or, if you're like our family TSO is jamming out with their famous Christmas Eve/Sarajevo...

Just a little sidenote.....I'm blessed to have a set of "Christmas dishes". They are so beautiful and a gift from my Mom from several years back. For a few years, we strictly used them on Christmas Eve and Christmas day only. Then it hit me...these are special dishes for a special family to use on a special occasion. Why save them for only one or two days because we eat everyday and everyday is a special time to remind this special family of the wonderful gift of Jesus.



So, if you have something that's only used for a special occasion or a special moment, take a moment and think about this....are your special moments only occasional happenings or are they every day that you get to share with your family??

Studying..Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/ Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 1: The Help Meet

Chapter 13: The Great Mystery (Part two)

Do you find yourself often picking out the faults in your man and focusing on them? Be honest. Sometimes..yes, I do. It's so easy with our husbands and even with our children to look at the things they did that don't please you rather than the things they did that do please you. Why do you think that is? Maybe we've set our standards impossibly high, or maybe we require more of others than we do of ourselves. Whatever the reason, I believe the cycle of focusing on the negative can be broken.

It begins, again, with a change in our thought process. How would we feel if our husbands were constantly picking at the faults in us?

"Honey, the bread is delicious..but you got the top a little too brown."

"Sweetie, I can't believe how you pulled this party together on such short notice, but you forgot to sit the sugar out by the coffee pot."

"Baby, you do such a good job keeping the laundry done, but I really wanted to wear the brown pants that I wore day before yesterday. I really wish you would pay better attention!"

I don't know about you, but with those few statements, a fuse would be lit under me that would quickly ignite into a huge explosion!!! Yet, I'm afraid that is what many husbands listen to on a daily basis.

It's time to realize that a good marriage means looking past the faults of the one we love and quit trying to change him. We have to learn and live under the authority that God has placed us as wives in. That doesn't mean that a man who is lazy and unwilling to support his family deserves the blessings of a godly wife, he is just receiving the overflow of a wife willing to submit to what God has called her to. Remind yourselves, ladies, that we are not doing this study to 'fix' our husbands, we are doing this to learn to be godly help meets.

In reality, most men love their wives and children. They take pride in them and will do everything in their power to provide for them. They want women they can trust with their secrets. Women who will keep their homes clean and ready for his buddies to drop by at a moments notice. They want a woman who will keep their secrets, their dreams and who will encourage them instead of nag. Men who have a woman like that at home, will rarely be looking at 'the grass on the other side of the fence'.

Mrs. Pearl encourages this week to:

1. Show our husbands noticeable respect at least three times a day.

2. Look up the word reverence in the Bible. Mrs. Pearl says that eight times reverence has to do with men. Reading this will help us understand from God's Word what God requires of us.

Have a wonderful week watching the change in your man as you openly show him respect and admiration!!

Next week: Kings and Kingdoms

Six Mondays and Counting

Hopefully you've been doing a few things that we've been talking about to make your Christmas season much easier and a lot less stressful!!

Now is a good time to begin putting up those outdoor lights if you haven't already. With Thanksgiving just a little over a week away, serious decoraters know that now is the time to get the outdoor stuff done.

It's also a good time to get the gifts you've already purchased wrapped. If your like my family, the tree often goes up just a few days after Christmas and I love to be able to put even a few gifts beneath it.

I've mentioned this before, but the sales are running rampant on the baking ingredients..(the coupons are almost as good too!!)

Make sure you've gotten that list of goodies you and your family want to bake together--remember it's about slowing down and enjoying your family!!!!--and gone over the list of ingredients you need and get those purchased. Nothing is more frustrating than to be in the middle of a recipe only to find out you're missing a most important ingredient.

Do one last check of that Christmas card list to make sure that you have prepared a card for every person you want to send one to. Buy those stamps and have them ready to go in the mail the day after Christmas.

It's taking care of these things a little at a time that will enable you to have a stress-free, wonderful Christmas season!!!

Tips & Quips

I don't know about your refrigerator, but mine tends to hide things. I put leftovers in and they disappear! I wish I could tell you that some wonderful family member had eaten them, but no...our fridge is enjoying a wonderful game of hide-n-seek with them.

Now, it's really sweet that our fridge just wants to be included in our family fun times, but quite frankly, Fridge's little game is costing this family some precious dollars, not to mention the fact that we are wasting enough that could literally feed one or two adults.

This isn't being a good steward of our finances or the food that God has blessed us with. In our home, if a leftover hasn't been eaten within a day or two, chances are it's not going to be eaten.
Yesterday I decided to clean out the fridge and what I found made me totally ashamed. I threw out an ice cream bucket full of food.

God was dealing with me with each swipe of the spatula around yet another bowl of wastefulness when He finally got through this thick skull and said, "What is good, freeze." I said, "But it's just a bite here or a bite there." He reminded me, "It's enough for one."

Then ding!!! That little light bulb turned on and the result was this:



4 bags of leftovers. Some stroganoff, a pork chop, some bbq and some polish sausage/sauce mix (family favorite from my growing up days!).

Looking at this food separated into these bags made me realize that even more than I thought was being thrown out and I was very disappointed in myself.

So, my tip....if you haven't eaten those leftovers, freeze them. Do them in single serving sizes for those times when it's just one or two eating, or when you don't want to cook and take out would strain that budget.

We are BLESSED!!!!!!! It's time we began taking care of all of our blessings including leftovers..

Seven Mondays and Counting

Now is a good time to be thinking about Christmas lights, especially if you decorate with lights outside like we do.

I didn't use many lights outside in years past because of the way that Christmas lights really hit the electric bill. But today, ahhh today we are blessed with LED lights and these babies are energy efficient!!!

Last year I did a post on the efficiency of these lights and how wonderful they were. Click here to read that post.

LED's can be expensive, but thanks to Home Depot and the promotion they are running between now through November 15th, LED's are very affordable.

If you bring in a string of your old Christmas lights, Home Depot will give you a coupon worth $3 off the purchase of LED's!! To make this an even better deal, through the promotional period, they have their LED's for $5.97 each, minus the $3 coupon means you can get these lights for $2.97!!! AND if that isn't enough, you can do this 5 times!!!!

(As with any promotional, check your area's Home Depot to make sure they are participating in this!)

I believe the light they give off is much prettier than the traditional lights and they don't get hot to the touch!!!

So, grab 5 sets of your old lights and $15 (or so) and head over to Home Depot! Your wallet will be glad you did!

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 1: The Help Meet

Chapter 12: By Divine Appointment

Mrs. Pearl begins this chapter by quoting 1 Corinthians 11:3,

" But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." NLT

She reminds us that the only place we will ever find true fulfillment is as a help meet to our husbands. We have to remind ourselves, maybe often, that it's not our place to correct our husbands...he will answer to God someday for his choices just as we will. For those who don't know the blessing of a saved husband, Mrs. Pearl says this, "It takes faith in God to trust Him when all you seem to see is one carnal man leading you--to 'God only knows where'. "

We have to remember as wives that the submission to our husbands is not the most important thing. The most important thing is being faithful to what God says in His Word. Obedience to GOD is the most important thing we can do.

Mrs. Pearl points out that man's fall into sin was because of the vulnerability of woman. We have to agree with that. Yes, I know, I'm sure Eve didn't sit on Adam and shove that fruit down his throat, but she did partake first. Why do you think satan addressed Eve and not Adam? I believe it's because, like it or not ladies, we are the weaker sex, in many ways.

Before the fall, God created woman to be the help meet. The help meet to a sinless man.....after the fall though, God didn't change His mind about the man being the authority, but the consequence of sin made it so that woman now had to be in submission to a man with a sin nature.

She also addresses the Scripture that states,

"Women should be silent during the church meetings. It is not proper for them to speak. They should be submissive, just as the law says. If they have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for women to speak in church meetings."
1Corinthians 14:34, NLT

Now, this is a can of worms, I know. I realize that there are awesome women of God who are teaching all over the world. I have been blessed by many. However, personally, I cannot sit beside my husband or any other man for that matter under a woman pastor. My personal belief is that the man is to lead in all areas. I do not give "my two cents" at church or any other place for that matter. I talk to my husband in private, give him my concerns and should he deem them worthy to be brought to the attention of others, he'll do so...if not, it's laid to rest and that's the end of it. I trust him to value my opinion and weigh what I'm saying or what I think honestly. I also trust God to convict him if he 'blows me off'.

Please understand that being in this total submission, we are not backing up. Like Mrs. Pearl, if you knew me personally, you would see that I'm not a quiet, calm person. I'm very opinionated and I want to be heard and acknowledged when I open my mouth. If I disagree with something, I'm willing to let you know it.....loudly. However, my love and respect of God won't allow me to be that way with my husband on purpose. When I do let go and "do it my way", conviction is swift.. and I'm very thankful for that!

Our challenge for this week is just that, a week long challenge:

Monday: Write three new things that you will add to your life that will cause you to become more precious to your husband.

Tuesday: List three things that you can do that will be a help to him.

Wednesday: Write down three things you can do that will be an encouragement to him.

Thursday: Jot down three things about your appearance that you can change, which he is sure to like.

Friday: List three tings that you can do to your house that will please him.

Saturday: Write three things you can do (for example, intimate time together) that will make him feel like his is THE MAN.

Sunday: Plan three ways you can respond to him in front of others that will show a heart of respect and honor toward him.

Please don't just make this list, DO it each day. You will be amazed at the wonderful man you find you are living with, within one short week.

Let me know how it works for you!!!!!


Next week: The Great Mystery

Eight Mondays and Counting

Let's face it, with Thanksgiving right around the corner, and tons of baking to be done for that day, now is a good time to bake some cookies and some bread for the freezer.

Most cookies and bread freeze well and taste fresh when they are thawed out.

All of us will have parties and get-togethers to attend and wouldn't it make it much easier to just thaw something out, put it on a pretty platter and go? Imagine how much more you would be able to enjoy the time with friends and family!!!

It's never to early to plan your Christmas menu and start watching those sales so that you can purchase the things you are going to need.

The biggest mistake I ever made in planning the menu was thinking that my crew wanted the same thing every year. There are a few items that they won't budge on..ham and homemade rolls...but especially as the kids have gotten older, tastes have changed and they've wanted to have a hand at making a dish for Christmas dinner.

So now, we sit down and discuss what we'd like to have and go from there. Of course, there have been times when I've had to remind them that I'm feeding four not forty!!!

One thing we've done in the past is ask our pastor if he knew of anyone in the area who did not have family to spend Christmas with. If so, we then contacted them and if they accepted, they were included in the meal planning. Let me add that if you've never done that, I'd encourage you to give it a try. You will be more blessed than you could ever imagine!!

So let's recap:

By now you should have your Christmas cards ready to mail the day after Thanksgiving. You should have a budget in place along with a list of people you are giving gifts to. You should have some ideas to match the personalities of those receiving your gifts, and you should be (if you haven't been at it all year) making those gifts or purchasing them from yard sales, thrift stores and clearance racks.

I hope you are feeling the stress that comes with the season becoming less and less. Won't it be wonderful to actually enjoy the birth of our Savior this year?!!

Studying...Created to be His Help Meet

We are studying the book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Help Meet. Through our study of this book, we are going to learn what it means to be a help meet and actually living the role that God created us as women to fill. I've read this book once before and applied many of the things that Mrs. Pearl spoke of, and it has transformed an already good marriage into nothing short of awesome!! I encourage you to purchase this book and follow along or at the very least, check out the Pearl's website at http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
Any text taken directly from Mrs. Pearl's book will be highlighted in blue.

I realize that in studying Created to be His Help Meet at the rate of one chapter per week, we will be doing this study for approximately 24 weeks. We could go at this at a much faster rate, but I believe that if we truly want to change and fill our God given rolls as help meet to our husbands, then we need to take things slower and put into practice what we are learning. I hope you agree and stay the course with me as we become better help meets together.

Part 1: The Help Meet

Chapter 11: The Nature of Man and Woman (part 2)

Last week, we went over the very different nature of men and women. This week we are going to define if we are a Jezebel or a Ruth. Interesting, hmmmm???

What do you think of when the name Jezebel is mentioned? I know what I think of....

Years ago as a little girl, if I overheard one of my grandmothers say, "Oh that ________ is just a Jezebel", I knew that ________ was not a very good person. Even as a little girl, not knowing the story of Jezebel, I could tell by their tone of voice that Jezebel was not someone I wanted to be like.

Going back to the Biblical Jezebel of 1 Kings, we realize that she had taken on the role of leader in her relationship with Ahab. Ahab was a weak man and instead of Jezebel being a Biblical wife and meeting the needs of a quiet man, she stepped into the leadership position and decided to "lead" him into becoming a man's man.

What she didn't know, or care to know, was that by becoming the leader, she made her man feel even more inadequate. She was not encouraging him at all to be the man of God he was designed to be.

Now, what do you think of when you hear the name Ruth?

I think of someone who is humble, dedicated, faithful and loyal.

How about Esther?

I think of someone who was submissive to her husband, dedicated to her Lord and knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God's way was the best way and that the only way to handle a situation was with prayer and fasting.

Then there is the Virtuous Woman. I used to call her Superwoman. You know her...the one that lives at Proverbs 31. Her husband can trust her, she greatly enriches his life and she does him good and not harm. (v. 11-12, NLT)

Her husband trusts her to trust him. He knows his secrets are safe with her and she'll never turn those things shared in private around to get her own way or to belittle him. He shares his dreams with her, no matter how impossible they might seem, and she will encourge him and cheer him on.

One thing I have never noticed in all my years of reading Proverbs 31....not once is her ministry mentioned. Not once is her prayer life mentioned. Not once is what she is doing for the Lord mentioned. Now we know how incredibley important these things are. God has made the importance of a relationship with Him and obedience to Him very clear. Understand that I am NOT taking any importance away from our relationship with God, however, remember we are discussing being a help meet to our husbands---our God-given calling on our lives.

Our Virtuous woman is busy making sure her husband is happy, her children and her household is taken care of. She makes sure the finances are in order and she's staying within their budget. She works beside her husband. She provides good sex and fun company. She makes sure things are taken care of so he can relax and enjoy the time away from his job. She puts him above herself. (page 115)

A woman who complains or tries to assert her authority over her husband dishonors him. There is a time, place and way to acknowledge certain things that will enable us to appeal to our husbands without challenging his authority. (Mrs. Pearl covers this later in the book).

We want our husbands to love and cherish us. We want him to look at us, laugh with us and have fun with us like we did when we were dating and in the early years of marriage. We want him to be relaxed and happy and a joy to be around when he's at home. If those are the things we want, then wouldn't you agree that it begins with us?

Mrs. Pearl asks these questions:

1) Is your desire toward your husband?

2) Dor you live to please him or do you expect him to live up to your convictions and whims?

3) Do you spend you days in angry frustrations over his unwillingness to change to your specifications?

4) When people think of your family, do they see your husband as the principal player or do they think of you as the main character?

The first command that God gave woman is found in Genesis 3:16b:

"And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you."
NLT

Next week: By Divine Appointment

The Real Me=A Bit of a Change

I don't know about the rest of you, but let me be totally transparent here, even though I know I'm a child of the King, even though I know I'm saved and that someday Heaven will be my home, I find myself wondering at times if God is even concerned. Let me explain.

There are so many areas of my life that I want to change. So many things that need changed in order to make me the Christian I want to be, the daughter my Father deserves. I was listening to Joyce Meyer yesterday morning and she was talking about living the Word. She mentioned that she knew her soul was saved and she was on her way to Heaven, but there were parts of her that still needed to get saved, mentioning that her mouth was one of those areas. I understood totally what she meant...there are areas of her life that does not lead someone to know that she has a personal relationship with Jesus. I was sitting on a stool in my kitchen telling the tv, "That's me! That's me!! I'm afraid that people can't tell that I have a personal relationship with Jesus based on my life!!"

It is a daily struggle for me to stay encouraging and focused...many days I feel like I'm faking and truth be told, I am. There are so many days when my flesh wins and my Bible is never opened. There are days when I know I should call/visit/send a card to Sister So&So but never make a move to do anything. By the time I've decided to do something about it, it's time to get supper ready and be a wife and help meet. Then all evening long I allow satan to sneer and laugh at me and convince that I'll never be what I want to be for Christ.

I am reminded of Paul's words in the book of Romans:

"I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."
(Chapter 7:15-19, NLT)

That is me!! I want to do what is right and what is good, but I struggle in doing it. I struggle in carrying it out!! I struggle in staying focused and sold out and committed!! It is utterly exhausting to me!!!!

You see, it's easy for me to stay focused on what a failure I am. It's easy for me to yell, "Defeat!!" and let satan party on. It's harder for me to move on to the next verses that remind me that the fight going on within myself is not me, but it is the sin nature that is within me.

"But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power* within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin."
(Verses 20-25)

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that even though I belong to Christ, I still struggle with the sins that so many others struggle with. I think this may be because I look around and see so many women who seem to have it so much better put together than I do. What my flesh refuses to let me see though, is these same women are struggling just as I am. Maybe they're not going through what I am at the moment, but they either have already been through it or they have fought or are fighting their own battles.

So I've come to a bit of a decision, while I'm not going to change several of the things I do on my blog, I have decided to become transparent. Not to become a downer or to depress others, but to let other women (and men) know that it's not all daisies and roses for me. I do let my Savior down. I am negative towards my husband. I did yell at my teenagers. My sink is full of dirty dishes and supper is whatever I could throw in a pot quickly because I wasted my day.

I just want this to be a real place for real women who want to be the very best daughter to the King they can.

Tips and Quips

With Christmas quickly approaching, most everyone I know tries to find ways to save a bit of money and make that budget stretch a bit farther. I'm no exception. I love to make my budget stretch period!!

Here are a few ideas to reuse some things that might otherwise be thrown away.

~~When you get a Christmas card....or any other type of card for that matter..instead of throwing it away after you've enjoyed it for a while, cut the front off and either reuse it as a post card or cut it down to make a name tag for your gifts!!

~~If you send gifts out of town, then you know the importance of careful packing, save those grocery fliers and old newspapers. They are wonderful to keep those special treasures safe as they travel. Even better if you can shred those papers up!!

~~ Speaking of shredded paper....we shred our newspapers and such and then use them in our garden and compost pile. They just rot away in the ground while helping to hold the moisture in...and in our (usually) dry area, that is priceless!!!

~~We love blueberries...even my picky son!! Want to know how to give those blueberry bushes a boost and make them smile?? Save those used coffee grounds and leftover coffee. Just sprinkle around the bushes and watch them liven up!!...My roses love coffee as well...think it runs in our family??

~~Got an old towel that has a few holes in it?? Don't throw it away!! Even the most illiterate seamstress (and that would be me) can sew a somewhat straight line. Cut that towel apart and make wash cloths from it!!

~~Don't throw those soap slivers away either. After you've saved up 3 or 4, shred them up in a sauce pan. Add about 2 cups of water and heat until melted. Cool and pour into a liquid soap dispenser--saved of course from your previous liquid soap purchase. Now you have liquid hand soap and it didn't cost you an extra cent!!